will power is for people who don't want to get laid
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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