It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
COCAINE IS GR8
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
