so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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