Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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