ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
