Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
