you have to choose: penises or morals?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
