smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
