dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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