I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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