Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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