Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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