Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Terrible idea I love it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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