Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
