We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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