return my video game
Can i not drive my cunt home
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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