So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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