i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You're like the curious george of whores
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
