Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
