So gin and wine won't be happening again
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The struggles of a small town man whore
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
