I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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