why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
