I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
