Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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