I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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