In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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