filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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