between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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