too bad you live with your parents still
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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