If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
