worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
