"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
