I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
