you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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