I must be too annoying 4 u.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
