i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
