just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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