dude i'm inner monologue high
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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