The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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