Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
