maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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