This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
