Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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