It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
