God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
