I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
