can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
