im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think your dad took our porno
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
