I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
