u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
