Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
